After attending a memorial service of a dear friend, a group of ladies who also attended the funeral decided to meet up for dinner and a movie. The movie we decided to go see was titled “Girls Trip“. We had no idea the many lessons we would learn during this hilarious, entertaining, shocking and thought-provoking girls flick about friendships. Prior to watching this movie, I had been thinking about Friends vs Friendships. I realized I have many friends but how many of those would I consider a Friendships. As I revisited the parts of the movie that resonated with me, I realized I only had a few healthy friendships. Say it ain’t so! So, I decided at this point in my life, it was time for me to re-evaluate the friendships in my life.
As I thought about this movie and other shows about friends, I noticed some commonality between the friends. They all had something in common. See Table Below:
|
Movie/Show |
Commonality |
| TV Show ‘Cheers’ | Interest – Sports Bar |
| Movie “Girls Trip” | History – College |
| TV Show ‘Friends’ | Neighbors and Cafe |
Even if two people have similar history, interest or values, it doesn’t always develop into a friendship. What I realized is that I am a friendly person and meet people wherever I go. You could say I make friends easily. Look at how many friends you have on Facebook or other Social Media. I have friends mostly because of our history (Church, Neighborhood, High School, College) or common interest (Singing, Music, Photography, Community Service, Career). However, most of these friends have not developed into a true and healthy friendship. I began to ask myself, “What does a healthy friendship look like”?
Here are my Top 10 Tips to a Healthy Friendship
- Be the friend you want – “Be a True Friend Yourself”
- A true friend accepts you for who you are (your differences)
- Will put your best interest above the friendship; doesn’t hold back from telling you something you don’t want to hear if it’s for your good
- Inspires you and encourages you to be the best you
- Will be there to pick you up when you fall (Got Your Back)
- Never ask you to compromise your beliefs or principles over the friendship
- Trust
- Mutual respect, mutual understanding, mutual appreciation, give and take, respect different points of view
- You can Laugh, Joke and talk to each other
- They are there when the other needs you
There are many benefits of a Healthy Friendship. I’ve listed a few below. Also, you can check out more information about the benefits in this list by the Mayo Clinic Staff: Benefits of Healthy Adult Friendships
- Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
- Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
- Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
- Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
- Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
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Building Friendships,
QueenShe
I truly agree with the above 10 tips. Now that I am 50, I am considered “Middle-Aged”, however, many friends started transitioning in my 40’s so it gave me a new perspective that tomorrow isn’t promised. I love my fiancé but I also love having my own space and bonding with women.
For men they seem to keep relationships a lot longer than us women since it’s like second nature for them to meet up for cocktails or watch a sporting event etc. We women need to do the same things once in awhile. It’s refreshing and fun plus we should support each other.
Thank you for stopping by my site and reading the post. Special thanks for your response. I agree with you that friendships with men seem to last longer. That may be a future blog post. Thanks for the idea. I hope to interview you soon on belly dancing after 40!!!