‘Deacon Crocker’s Sidekick’
This site was sparked because I’m in the process of writing a book about dating and relationships being over 40 and divorced. I wanted a place to share and receive knowledge and lessons learned about relationships. My up-coming book will also highlight the dynamics of being a woman who is over 40 and divorced. This site will address topics that include:
*living a creative life
*establishing and nurturing productive relationships (romantic and non-romantic)
*sustaining good health (physical, psychological ([mental / behavioral] & spiritual)
Also, this platform will be used to advocate for our youth and those with mental illness. I hope to inspire you to find your creative outlet.
I found healing through my innate creativity. I am blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28) that my life has been graced with 3 very powerful creative outlets:
Each one of these avenues has facilitated self-healing throughout the 4 decades of my life.
- When I was 7 years old, I began writing in diaries to document my private thoughts. This beneficial childhood practice blossomed into adulthood journal writing. As an adult, writing has become a powerful self-healing tool. Regular reflective journal writing documents my life in-process (as I’m living it) and allows m to express my feelings safely and confidently. My journal is a self-designed mirror that enables me to clearly see my personal growth and detect crucial patterns (thoughts, behaviors, etc). As an only child, even though I knew many people, I didn’t have many close friends or other people with whom to share my feelings, thoughts and insights into my life’s daily ups and downs. My childhood diaries affirmed my innate goodness and fulfilled my needs to be known, heard understood and accepted.
- Singing makes me feel free. As a child it provided the opportunities use my voice through song to express myself. My singing allowed me to travel which allowed me to see and experience new people, places and things. As an adult, it allowed me to express my deepest feelings. When I would sing on stage, I felt my soul connecting with others. I felt joy in knowing that I was chosen to bring joy and happiness to others through my voice.
- Photography allows me to see life around me through a different lens. One Christmas at the age of 8, after receiving only a bag of chocolate coins, my Uncle gave me his polaroid camera to stop me from crying. I cherished that camera. This is when I started taking photographs of nature when I would go outside to play. Photography allowed me to become curious about life. As a child, I would photograph the sky, flowers and butterflies which remain my favorite photographic work as an adult. I love to share what matters to me in life through photos.
My development into the person that I am today was profoundly impacted by 2 seminal dynamics: being raised by my maternal grandparents and getting divorced after 12 years of marriage. I grew up in Newport News, VA. My mother was 20 when she gave birth to me and my father was a much older man. My father was a widow who needed someone to help clean his house. My grandfather, who worked with my father, recommended my mother. He loved my mother and was very happy to have his first little girl. During the week of my 5th birthday, my father passed away at home from intestinal complications and my mother was involved in a head-on car accident that caused her brain injury. Yes, in the same week. I never got to know my father’s side. My maternal grandparents concurrently parented my Mother and me in a strict religious home.
During that week of my 5th birthday, there was no birthday party and my mother was in the hospital. I recall conversations about a funeral but no one explained to me what was going on. I guess they thought “She’s just a child”. No one said anything to me directly except that my mother was in the hospital. I felt invisible and this moment taught me how to deal with my emotions on my own. My mother was told about my father’s death, the love of her life, the father of her child, several weeks later because she was still recovering from her brain injury. Her sorrow and broken heart caused her to become depressed as she internalized all that had happened to her and no opportunity to say good-bye. The love felt between my father, mother and me were so strong that I became a seeker of that feeling.
When I was in high school, I was in long-term relationships that didn’t involve courtship or dating. I wasn’t allowed to date when I was in High School. These relationships evolved from church to talking on the phone to becoming a couple.
Both adults and children need someone to talk to especially when there is a crisis. I sensed as a child that something was not right. Particularly when important people are suddenly gone! They should not be ignored just because they are under the age of 5, 6 or 7. We need to pay attention and communicate more with our youth so we know when they are hurting to provide help. Many parents or guardians do not realize how energy and vibes felt by a child can impact their decisions in life as an adult.
After high school, I worked full-time and put myself through college. As a young adult, I started to advocate for anyone who suffered from mental illness and the youth who have lost a parent or feel they have no one to talk to about their issues. When I was in my late 20s, I got married, started caring for my mother and got pregnant. All of these massively important events occurred within a 2 year time span. It was a very rough time for me but I always kept a smile on my face. On the inside, I was stressed out. During this time, I was praying to God for guidance, the strength to make it and peace of mind. I began to desire more knowledge about how to live a more peaceful life on a spiritual level that would help me get over the moments of wanting to give up. Again, I must give thanks that I have been blessed and highly favored (Luke 1:28) from the moment of my conception (long before my birth).
During my adulthood, I met with a spiritual advisor, who was a standing guests on a local radio station in Columbia, SC,. He suggested 10 books for me to read that would change my life outside of the Holy Bible. The first book I read from the list was “Mans Eternal Quest“. It taught me the difference between religion and spirituality. This encouraged me to continue my journey of seeking more knowledge to learn how to deal with events in life to avoid depression. One way is to use your creative gifts that God has placed in each of us. Below you will find a scripture from Proverbs 18:14-16 that inspired me to seek knowledge.
14 The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, But as for a broken spirit who can bear it?
15 The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men.
You can be creative alone. It does not require multiple individuals. Since you do not have to schedule your time around someone else’s time, you have more opportunities to explore your artsy side. So, let’s take a ride down QueenShe Vision Lane where I hope you will find your creative gift(s). Thank you for stopping by and becoming a part of this journey. I hope that you find freedom, peace and happiness in life through creativity.
If you would like to reach me, reach out to me through my contacts page.
Again, thank you.
Sherry aka QueenShe
© 2017 Sherry Crocker Burden. https://queenshevisions.com/about-us/. All rights reserved
(Revised by T. Edwards 11/8/2017)