Celebrating Father’s Day Without a Father


On my trip back from Newport News, VA, I stopped by a place to eat.  While I was waiting for my meal, I began to watch people celebrating Father’s Day.  I started to reminisce.  I remembered one Christmas morning waking up not sure if I would get coal or gifts from Santa. I was a little scared of Christmas mornings because of all the stories about what would happen if you weren’t good all year.  I was about 3 years old and hoping I got the toys I wanted that year off the television.  As I walked down the hall and to the stairs,  first I saw a slinky and then other toys leading a path to the living room area at which I found a floor covered with toys.  I was so very happy and all fear was gone.  But that wasn’t all my father and mother had for me.  My father escorted me out the front door where I found my little red tricycle.  I was a happy little girl.  My father patiently taught me how to ride my first bike up and down the walkway.  As I recalled this memory this Father’s Day, I thought to myself, “I must celebrate the relationship and memories I have of my Father, especially on Father’s Day”.  House

If you don’t know why Father’s day has been a sad occasion for me since the age of 5, it’s because he passed away when I was 5 years old – 4 days after my birthday.  There were other events that took place the same week my father passed that triggered different emotions for me on Father’s Day.  Read my About page to learn more about our short but very loving time together.

After his passing, the connection with my father’s side ceased.  My mother never married my father.  Since he passed while my Mom was in the hospital recovering from her accident, there was no one on my side that helped keep the connection. Recently, I have begun my search for simply a picture of my father.  All of his siblings have passed away and I’m continuing my search.   My father’s name is William Jarvis. He worked for the Newport News, Longshoreman, born on Dec 17, 1915 and died on June 13, 1973.

This is the year things will change for the good.  First, I will share with others about what I remember about my father and the stories my mom has shared with me over the years about how he was such a gentleman and he loved us so much.  I recently visited the house where I had such great memories with my Father.  My father was a cook too. My father was a very wise and good hearted man.

My mother shared a story about my father taking us to the movies.  I was a baby at the time.  Now, I must say I didn’t take my two boys as infants to the movies because I didn’t want to disturb others and going to the movies was a break for me. Well, my mother said I started crying in the movies and my father told her to stay and watch the movie while he took me out to care for me. He didn’t mind missing part of the movie.  I haven’t seen a man take a baby out of the movies, especially if it’s Star Wars.  If you have some extraordinary non-traditional father acts, please comment and share.

My mother told me he took very good care of us.  My father treated my mom like a Queen and I am grateful for him giving her those happy and beautiful memories.  My mother has never said anything negative about my father. All she says is that she misses him. Well, I do too.  Some may think because I was only 4 years of age when he passed how could you miss someone you didn’t really know.  I remember the feeling – the vibe when he was around me.  I felt relaxed, comfortable, happy, playful, protected and most of all LOVE.

During the time I spent with my father, I learned what I Love You meant.  It meant freedom to be who I am. It meant listening to the one you love.  It meant spending quality time with those you Love.  It meant wanting the one you love to be happy.  It meant sacrificing sometimes (the movie story).  It meant wanting no harm to come to the one you love. It meant kindness.  I felt so much love as a child that I became a seeker of love. That’s another blog post.

On this Father’s Day and every Father’s Day going forward, I will share my great memories with my two sons about their Grandfather Jarvis and how he was truly an excellent example of a good man and father.

I hope this post inspires you who no longer have an “earthly” father to celebrate the life of your father on each and every Father’s Day.

Read my About page to learn more about our short but very loving time together.

Happy Father’s Day!

Sherry Burden Photo

Missing my DAD,